Boomer Sooner!

Editor's note: Well, we finally found someone to write on behalf of OU. Her name is Sonia, and she has not only her Bachelors, but her Masters from OU as well. Which means she lived in Norman for more than four years. Clearly this has warped her. Enjoy!

With football season here AND no representation on this Big XII South blog…I’ve decided to represent Oklahoma U. Boomer Sooner.

With that out of the way, I will commence this great football season with some of my thoughts.

First of all, let’s not forget who leads The Big 12 in ALL NCAA Football rankings – OU. Not UT, not Tech and certainly not A&M (the redheaded stepchild of the Big 12).

My thoughts on the Big 12 South Teams:

Baylor. Yesterday Baylor got to put on their shiny new tights, and prance around against Wake Forest at Floyd Casey Stadium, who smoked them 43-13. To quote their new coach, Art Briles, “I feel like we let a lot of people down.”…yes….yes you did. Baylor needs to give up on NCAA Football and join the Big 12 Powder Puff League. But I bet the butchy girls at A&M would dominate them (and if they made it up north, the Cornhusker women would definitely finish the job).

OSU. What is there to say about the Flaming Aggies of Oklahoma. They’re gay cowboys that pretend to be good at football…when in reality the only thing they’re good at is noodling, wrestling and drinking watered down PBR out of the back of a pickemup truck. F-ing mouth-breathing rednecks.

A&M. Oh lordy. A&M. Gosh, how I hate Aggies. Their bonfires, midnight yells and those rings. Ugh. A&M are the Cornhuskers of the Big XII South…except the Huskers have actually won. Let’s see…how many times have the Aggies have won a National Championship? Oooh. Once…1939. So…before the Germans invaded Poland to start WWII. Last time they won the Big 12 Championship? 1998. I was in high school and Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) was on the radio. Yet…for some reason, they continue to wear their shiny gold symbols of how much they suck on their fingers.

UT. Obviously the most popular of the Texas schools and, of course, a pretty hefty track record makes it a pity that UT will be starting half a dozen freshmen this year. These baby boys may have talent, but experience playin’ with the big boys they do not. And have they found a replacement for Jamaal Charles? Hmmm. Although UT is taking up the 10th spot in the rankings…I have a feeling that this ranking is a pity pre-season gimme and they’ve got nowhere to go but down. Sorry UT, this won’t be your year. Don’t worry though, OU promises to treat you with kid gloves in Dallas.

TX Tech. Hmmm. Not much to do in Lubbock ‘cept play some ball, right? Tech has up’d their game over the past two seasons and this year promises to be more of the same. I really have never had any beef with Tech. They usually seem to stay in their little corner of NW Texas and not cause too much for trouble for anyone. Like the retarded little brother that no one really minds being around because he’s harmless. Maybe Tech is growing up into a violent grown man retard? I actually have to go dig some dirt on the Red Raiders…Okay, WTF is Bangin’ Bertha and how is that not retarded? What else….Oooo you guys have the ‘Saddle Tramps’…classy. No wonder Tech has never won a Big 12 Championship… let alone a National Championship. Gosh, even lame A&M has one at least 1 under their size 46 belt. Sorry Tech, as much as you try, you are still retarded, just in big boy shoes.

Oklahoma: Ohhhhh-kahoma. How do you not like a fight song that is also a show tune?! Despite our fight song and our namesake (which some have accused of being cheaters), what OU does have is an impressive track record including 5 Big 12 South Division Championships (00, 02, 03, 04 and 06) and 7(!) National Championships. 7! Let’s just break this down:

UT: 4 National Championships
OSU: 0 National Championships
Tech: 0 National Championships
A&M: 1 National Championships
Baylor: 0 National Championships

So…basically OU has more titles than rest of the Big 12 South put together….wow. Really?! So…let’s compare to the rest of the Big 12.

Colorado: 1
ISU: 0
KS: 0
KSU: 0
Missouri: 0
Nebraska: 5.

Would you look at that? OU has more National Championship titles than the entire Big 12 North too! Geez. This is ridiculous. And this year OU promises to be good. Really good. Heisman quality QB: check. An incredible offensive line in front of Bradford: Check. All led by Bobby Stoops -- love him or hate him you can’t deny that he’s the reason we’re amazing. Plus…he looks hot in a visor. Ohhhh Mr. Stoops -- ...check. Love us or hate us, you can’t deny that we’re leading the Big 12 this year and there is very little all you God fearin’ noodlin’ retarded rednecks can do about it. Man, sucks to be you guys. Boomer Sooner.