raiderHORN: THE NEW MISSION

my new goal for raiderHORN is that it be a tool in the fight against world hunger. the strategy is to lower the reckless waste of food in america by converting bulimics into anorexics.

who's in?

no one?

okay.

i guess i can finish up on my thoughts from the weekend, not that any of you sons of bitches read this thing anymore.

some really good things happened at ody's while cappy and i were watching the game. for one, we got to witness a really hideous affair. it pretty much changed my view of what cheating in america truly looks like. cheating is ugly. especially in salinas, california. watching this man grope at handfuls of his luva's fat rolls while she downed corona after corona and professed her love for said man, who i believe was a friend of her husband's, was truly terrifying. and hilarious. they were ugly, they were dumb and they were oblivious to how uncomfortable they were making the rest of us.

another great thing involved shaggy. lot's of shaggy. earlier that day cappy and i were cruising 17 mile drive in the tourist mobile with the top down and complaining about the lack of radio stations in the area. it was really bad. when we popped out in monterey i told her that there were only 2 records in the world that i wanted to be listening to at that moment: 'satellite rides' by the old 97s and shaggy's greatest hits. fast forward to 10:48 left in the second quarter and boom!: sweet, sweet music to my ears. it was the intro to the greatest shaggy song ever, "it wasn't me." so just as i'm realizing that i'm being treated to a 3 minute 43 second long eargasm, i see a WIDE OPEN jordan shipley receive a 30 yard td pass from little colty. it was like being blown my a care bear in mid stare. so nice. and then, for the next 2 hours, the shaggy mix (with a few additions) played on repeat. it was perfect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR4PGt9oOto

then we had to watch blaine irby's knee turn inside out:




that made me sad.

then we met a man named wayne. wayne is a retiree from phoenix who had to come to the bar for white wine because the guy he was staying with is a pretentious prick who won't let anybody drink white wine. so we talked and wayne bought us shots and we will remember him forever.

we also met a bartender who was really rich and did internet pilates (porn) and spoke like an idiot. we liked her too.

as for the game: it was solid. colt was 19-23 with 4 in the air and one on the ground. they gave up 17 rushing yards and were scored on in the second half for the first time all season. the 301 in the air given up was a problem, but stopping rice on 11 straight downs from the 2 was pretty amazing. i have confidence in these boys.